Awakening To Self: The Profound Layers Of Our Existence
How does our awareness of thoughts and emotions shape our understanding of consciousness in relation to the broader human experience? Our counsellors are here to help you today.
FREE ASSESSMENT082 747 3422Addiction is a War on Consciousness
Most people still talk about addiction like it is a choice problem, as if the person simply refuses to do the right thing. That story is comforting because it lets everyone believe that if you are smart enough or strong enough you will never fall into it. The reality is uglier and more honest. Addiction is often a war on consciousness, because being present becomes unbearable, and the substance becomes the fastest way to disappear from your own mind.
In early stages people might still chase pleasure, but over time many are chasing absence. They are trying to shut off anxiety, shame, trauma memories, loneliness, grief, or the constant pressure of their own thoughts. When that becomes the pattern, sobriety is not just about stopping a substance, it is about learning how to stay present when your brain is screaming for escape.
It is Being Honest With What is Happening Inside You
Consciousness is not simply having your eyes open and functioning at work. Consciousness is awareness, of thoughts, urges, emotions, body signals, and consequences, and it is the ability to notice what is happening without instantly reacting to it. In addiction, that awareness gets narrowed and distorted until the world becomes a tunnel, and the tunnel points to one thing, relief now.
You see it when a person cannot explain why they used again, not because they are lying, but because they were not fully present in the lead up. They were on autopilot. They were switched off. They were moving through a script they have run for years. They might remember the decision to use as if it came out of nowhere, but usually there were a hundred small moments of disconnection before it, moments where they stopped noticing their own mind and started chasing the next numbness.
The Autopilot Problem
Addiction does not always look like chaos. Sometimes it looks like someone who is technically functioning but emotionally absent. They wake up, they scroll, they drink coffee, they perform, they come home, they use something to switch off, and they repeat. They are alive, but they are not present. Life becomes something that happens around them while they try to mute it.
Modern life makes this easier because we are surrounded by micro escapes. Constant scrolling, constant background noise, constant dopamine snacks, gambling, porn, binge eating, alcohol at night, pills for sleep, anything that keeps the volume down. A person can look successful on the outside and still be disconnected from themselves for years, and then when they try to get clean, they discover something frightening, the reason they kept numbing was not only habit, it was fear of what they would feel if they stopped.
Blackouts and Missing Time
Nothing shows the war on consciousness more clearly than blackouts. People tell blackout stories at parties like they are comedy, but blackouts are not funny, they are neurological shutdowns where the brain fails to form memory properly while the person is still moving and talking. That is a terrifying reality for families because it destroys trust. The person can sound sincere the next day and still have no memory of what they did or said, and the people around them feel like they are living with someone unpredictable.
Blackouts also increase risk because missing time means missing judgement. People drive, fight, fall, get robbed, get assaulted, cheat, and make decisions they would never make sober, then wake up with the aftermath and no memory. That shame becomes fuel for more escape, and the cycle tightens. If you want to understand why addiction is more than willpower, look at how quickly a person’s awareness can disappear while the body keeps functioning.
Sleep and Dreams
Sleep is one of the most underrated parts of recovery because it is not glamorous, and because people want a psychological explanation for everything, but sleep is where the brain repairs, consolidates memory, and processes emotional stress. In early sobriety, sleep can become chaotic. Some people experience vivid dreams, nightmares, and intense emotional dreams that feel like punishment, and they start searching for spiritual meaning while ignoring the more practical truth, the brain is adjusting.
When people stop substances that suppressed REM sleep, REM can rebound. The dream world can become louder, and emotions can surface with intensity. This can feel like a sign that something is wrong, but often it is the brain returning to normal processes that were disrupted for a long time. Improving sleep routine, reducing stimulation at night, and building consistent habits can do more for mental stability than any motivational speech, because a sleep deprived brain is a relapse friendly brain.
When Being Present Feels Unsafe
Some people have a complicated relationship with consciousness because presence itself feels unsafe. They may have learned early in life that feeling is dangerous, and that spacing out or shutting down is how you survive. Dissociation can look like numbness, blankness, memory gaps, feeling unreal, or watching yourself from a distance. People often describe it as being there but not really there.
Substances can become a way to control that. Alcohol can blur the edges. Cannabis can slow things down. Stimulants can create a false sense of control. Benzodiazepines can shut off panic. Over time addiction grows on top of these coping strategies, and the person becomes trapped, not only by the drug but by the fear of what happens to their mind when they are fully present.
This is why recovery sometimes needs more than basic counselling. Trauma informed therapy can matter because the goal is not only to stop the substance, it is to build safety inside the nervous system so that presence does not feel like threat.
Psychedelics and Altered States
There is a lot of conversation about psychedelics and therapy, and some research explores potential benefits under medical supervision in controlled settings for certain conditions. That conversation can be important, but it becomes dangerous when people use it as a new escape plan. Self dosing at home, chasing visions, and turning altered states into a hobby can be another way to avoid ordinary life.
For someone with addiction vulnerability, the risk is not only legal or psychological instability, it is also the pattern, chasing intensity instead of building structure. If someone is chasing mystical experiences while ignoring sleep, routine, accountability, and honest relationships, they are not building recovery, they are building a different form of disappearance. If altered state therapies ever have a place, they should sit inside proper clinical assessment and ongoing support, not inside impulse and secrecy, because addiction grows best in isolation and hype.
Training Awareness Like a Muscle
Awareness is not a personality trait, it is a skill, and skills are trained. One of the simplest recovery tools is a daily check in that is brutally honest. How did I sleep, what did I eat, what is my mood, what am I avoiding, what am I craving, what am I resentful about, who do I need to speak to, and what do I need to do today to protect my sobriety.
Another tool is learning to name the feeling before you name the solution. If the feeling is loneliness, the solution is connection, not substances. If the feeling is anger, the solution is expression and boundaries, not escape. If the feeling is shame, the solution is truth telling, not disappearing.
Reducing dopamine noise also matters. Constant scrolling and constant stimulation makes ordinary life feel dull, and dullness is a trigger for people who are used to intensity. Recovery often requires simplifying, less screen time, more sleep, more movement, more real conversations, and more routine, because routine creates stability, and stability creates space for genuine contentment to develop.
When Awareness Gets Painful
Becoming more present can surface grief, regret, trauma memories, anxiety, and shame, and some people panic because they think feeling those things means they are getting worse. Often it means they are finally awake to what they avoided. That is why support matters. Therapy can help when emotions are overwhelming. Medical support can be necessary when insomnia is severe or when mental health symptoms are intense. Community matters because isolation turns discomfort into crisis.
If someone is experiencing suicidal thoughts, hallucinations, severe paranoia, or a level of panic that feels unmanageable, that is not a moment for self help techniques, that is a moment for urgent professional care. Recovery should never be framed as handling everything alone. It is the opposite, it is learning to get support before you collapse.
You Cannot Stay Sober if You Keep Trying to Disappear
If you keep renting relief, you will keep paying with your life, your relationships, your health, and your future. Addiction is not only about substances, it is about the habit of disappearing whenever reality feels too sharp. Recovery is learning to stay present long enough to choose differently, even when the feeling is ugly, even when the day is boring, even when the shame is loud.
Consciousness in recovery is not a mystical concept. It is practical. It is noticing what is happening inside you, telling the truth about it, and acting in a way that protects your life instead of destroying it. When you build that skill, the urge to escape loses its power, because you are no longer at war with your own mind.