Selfishness or self-centeredness, is a behaviour marked by prioritising one’s own needs and desires over others’, often leading to negative consequences in personal relationships, mental health and addiction. Historically viewed through a moral and ethical lens, selfishness is contrasted with altruism, which involves putting others’ needs first. While self-care is fundamental for personal well-being, selfishness negatively impacts others by disregarding their feelings and needs. In mental health and addiction, selfishness can be both a symptom and a cause with certain personality or substance use disorders exhibiting high levels of this trait. It often arises from coping mechanisms, social misperceptions or substance-induced impaired judgment.
In addiction recovery, selfishness is a complex issue. While addiction can drive people to prioritise substance use over other responsibilities, leading to damaged relationships, recovery often requires a degree of self-focus to heal effectively. This focus, however, is different from the harmful selfishness seen in addiction; it’s about putting sobriety first and creating a healthy environment for oneself. Recovery involves saying no to potentially triggering situations and prioritising meetings and therapy, which might initially strain relationships but is essential for long-term healing.
Historically labeled as a moral failing, addiction is now understood as a complex brain disorder, not confined to any moral or character judgment. Addressing selfishness in recovery is fundamental for developing empathy and repairing relationships damaged by substance abuse. Rehabilitation programs emphasise understanding and transforming selfish behaviors, using therapy and support groups to create empathy and balanced self-care. This transformation in recovery is about prioritising health and sobriety, learning to set boundaries and understanding the difference between necessary self-focus and harmful selfishness.
Self Centeredness and Addiction Psycology
Self-centeredness, often synonymous with terms like self-serving, self-absorption, egocentric and selfish, refers to an intense focus on one’s own needs, wishes and desires, often at the expense of others. This behaviour can lead to loved ones feeling used and neglected, as the self-centered individual typically considers others only in terms of how they can fulfill their own needs. In addiction, this manifests as emotional abandonment of loved ones, as the addict’s focus narrows to their obsession and compulsion, neglecting various aspects of relationships and family responsibilities.
Not all self-centered individuals have substance abuse issues; extreme self-focus can stem from various psychological conditions. Narcissistic Personality Disorder, a type of Cluster B personality disorder, is characterised by a deep need for admiration, disregard for others’ feelings, sensitivity to criticism, grandiosity and self-serving interactions. Antisocial Personality Disorder, another Cluster B subtype, involves persistent patterns of rights violations and criminal behaviour with self-centeredness manifesting through harmful behaviors like lying and manipulation for personal gain. Conditions like depression and anxiety can also lead to intense self-preoccupation, where individuals become so absorbed in their own issues that they seem indifferent to others.
A Re-look at Being Selfish
The traditional definition of ‘selfish’ often overlooks the context of recovery and self-improvement. In sobriety, ‘selfish’ should be redefined as taking actions with positive motives for one’s own benefit, which may not always align with others’ preferences. It involves prioritising personal gain, development and growth, essential in the progression to sobriety. This new form of selfishness necessitates significant life changes, including ending toxic relationships, establishing new routines, avoiding triggers and confronting underlying issues behind substance abuse.
This reimagined selfishness in recovery is about self-care, self-love and self-preservation. It’s a shift from the destructive selfishness associated with substance abuse to a constructive form that focuses on removing negatives and enhancing physical and mental well-being.
It’s important to differentiate between these two types of selfishness and recognise the value of this new, positive form in recovery. While some may not understand the drastic changes required in the recovery process, open communication can help in addressing the stigma linked to addiction. Being ‘selfish’ in this context is not about neglecting others; rather, it’s about a necessary focus on personal health and well-being, allowing individuals to make the best choices for their recovery and future.
Founded in 2008, WeDoRecover has evolved from an advisory service for addiction treatment into a comprehensive provider of care, following its 2019 merger with Changes Addiction Rehab in Johannesburg. Specialising in connecting patients to top-tier addiction treatment centers in the UK, South Africa and supporting individuals in recovery world wide.
Inpatient Rehab
Rehab care is a good option if you are at risk of experiencing strong withdrawal symptoms when you try stop a substance. This option would also be recommended if you have experienced recurrent relapses or if you have tried a less-intensive treatment without success.
Outpatient
If you're committed to your sobriety but cannot take a break from your daily duties for an inpatient program. Outpatient rehab treatment might suit you well if you are looking for a less restricted format for addiction treatment or simply need help with mental health.
Therapy
Therapy can be good step towards healing and self-discovery. If you need support without disrupting your routine, therapy offers a flexible solution for anyone wishing to enhance their mental well-being or work through personal issues in a supportive, confidential environment.
Mental Health
Are you having persistent feelings of being swamped, sad or have sudden surges of anger or intense emotional outbursts? These are warning signs of unresolved trauma mental health. A simple assesment by a mental health expert could provide valuable insights into your recovery.
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